


Rekindle

by vivio



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivio/pseuds/vivio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finals are over and all that is left is to wait for graduation. It has been two years since Annie and Mikasa have been dating. In the midst of a hot day, Annie suddenly decided she wanted to have a talk with Mikasa. The "talk" never sounds good, and gut feelings were almost always right. When the time came it finally slapped her on the face when Annie said she wanted to breakup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rekindle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soundgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundgirl/gifts).



> This is a late present for a friend that has yet to be finished, but all well. I hope you guys like it at least. ~ And dang it I hate grammars. You guys are such a pain.

“I’m sorry.” The Annie muttered and pressed her cold hands against the Mikasa, who was completely devastated by her words. Annie looked fatigued and heartbroken as her repetitive apologies escaped from her dry lips. “I’m… sorry.” She cast her guilty blue eyes elsewhere, anywhere than those slate grey orbs that showed nothing but pain.  Slowly, her hand started to drop from the other’s cheek, but it is suddenly grasped in a firm hand and pressed against a hot and wet cheek. It left Annie surprise by the other’s action. However, she didn’t think about tearing her hand away from the grasp.

Mikasa parted to lips to speak, but her vocals wouldn’t work. She forced a sound of inaudible words before shutting her mouth close, waiting to regain back her voice to try again later. They stood in silence for a while.

Annie’s eyes were pinned down to their feet as if it was more interesting than anything else currently. She couldn’t dare look into Mikasa’s eyes. If she did she would be filled with more regrets. Her stomach has been doing a three-sixty flip before everything happen. Anymore she might think death was a better option than anything. And it was already hard her for her to choke out the words, “We should just be friends, again.”

The brunette tried to speak again as they words came out scratch and hoarse, “Tell me…” Her words caught Annie’s attention as she brought her eyes up.  And then immediately regretted it when she her own eyes connected to those grey ones. Her heart sanked, she felt it smashed into millions of tiny pieces. She was about to speak, but knew better not to interrupt Mikasa.  She bit down her tongue, drawing blood and tasting the copper in her mouth in the process.

“Tell me, why?” Mikasa’s words finally choked out. Her eyes are red. She tries to fight against anymore tears that wanted to escape.

Those dark orbs bore into the blue ones, both in equal pain. However, one demanded an answer and the other didn’t want to give one. She notices in Annie’s eyes that she wanted to escape. Those sea, no, blue color eyes weren’t look at her anymore, but at the hands that held hers. She became easy to read. Mikasa’s grip became tighter, tight enough that it wouldn’t hurt the blond but enough that she gets the message to not think about escaping.

Another silence swept over them. These long silences were frustrating the brunette as she demanded for an answer again. This time the words came out more firm, sharp, cold, and fill with pain. She saw the blonde flinch when her grip became tighter.

Finally Annie spoke, but it wasn’t the answer Mikasa wanted to hear. “I can’t tell you.”

Mikasa gritted her teeth together, now her eyes were glaring down the casted down head. The blond could feel the malice in Mikasa’s glare that causes her to slightly shiver. “Then,” The words came out shaky from her rage that boiled inside of her. All of her feelings could not be describe, but a big crumpled lump of negativities. “Are you telling me those past two years we spent were nothing? Does it mean anything to you?” Her nails started to dig into Annie’s hand, even so, the blonde didn’t struggle to free them loose nor did Mikasa have any intention to lighten up on her death grip. The older knew she deserved this, and Mikasa didn’t deserve any of these current emotions. “Was this all a game to you? Because you’re so bored of the world you could just mess around with my feelings as your little entertainment?”

The question caught Annie off guard, her eyes finally returning to Mikasa’s in a devastated shock. “No, I never played with your –“

“Then tell me, what was all our time meant together?”

There is hesitation in Annie’s voice. Was she stalling? Was she finding the words? Did her voice escape her? What? These entire questions flowed into Mikasa’s mind while she stared down at the other waiting for her to give an answer.

“They were precious.”

“Bullshit.” The word came out like venom from Mikasa’s lips. She knew the shorter was being honest with her words, but she couldn’t accept it as an answer. Her heart couldn’t take such a simple answer. Not when it was terribly crushed and thrown into the trash like nothing after how serious they were for each other. Then too be suddenly slapped on the face by her lover, who wanted them to break up and become friends again? Tough chance, there is no way for them to become friends under this circumstances.

She already knew Annie didn’t want them to become friends again. The hesitation, the aching pain in her voice told her everything. She knew the blond well than she knew herself. That is how couples are. They understood each other more than anyone else or at least supposed to. Despite their quietness, and lack of speech, they both read the air around each other. They both hide nothing from each other that they couldn’t read. Maybe, there were few exceptions, but nothing major. They also expressed it more with actions than simple words that were better to be done than said.

Now, now what is all of this? This is not like Annie at all. What happened to her before all of this happen? What was it that made it so hard for her not to be able to tell Mikasa? What happen to the trust?

This entire unanswered question, these answers that wouldn’t be answered even if she asked infuriated Mikasa.

A heavy slow and shaky sigh escape her lips. Her eyes were close as she tried to calm herself. Calmed her heart and prepared herself to what she is about to say next, “Forget it.” She let go of Annie’s hand as both of their hands dropped to their side. She didn’t open her eyes; she didn’t want to look at her while she said these words. She had a gut feeling if she look at her wouldn’t be able to muster up the courage to speak. “If you’re not going to tell me, fine then.” Slowly opening her eyes and directing them over Annie’s head. She didn’t want to see the expression that the older held.  Instead they were lock on to her and Annie’s friends who were far in a distance that they almost look like a blurry fuzz blob.

Mikasa doesn’t want to say it but, “We should reconsider being strangers instead.”  She doesn’t know if she could accept them being friends again. Her heart ached for Annie that being friends again is almost impossible. It would have shattered her more to see Annie as a mere friend after everything they had been through.

It is better this way. She thought. She then curled her fingers together into a tight ball as she maneuvered around Annie and walked towards to her waiting friends.  The brunette didn’t plan on waiting for the other’s reply. She worried if she waited for an answer she would not be able to move from her position. Better yet, hear Annie’s protest. Yes, it’s over now. She liked to think despite her heart rejecting everything this is happen as if it is a bad dream. There’s nothing more to be said. It’s over between the two of us.

Suddenly, a firm grip grabbed Mikasa arm, catching her by surprise, as she is then forcefully turned around with lips crashed against her. It slightly hurt; however, that sting is quickly dismissed when she saw tears streaming down Annie’s cheeks. Her eyes were close, but the tears on her cheeks didn’t stop. Never has Mikasa seen her cry before.

When Mikasa had first met Annie, she would always have that bored expression as if the world was dead to her. Until she had talked to Mikasa and they had spent time together, her expression soon changes whenever the brunette was around. They had started to give off vibrancies of life and possibly excitement. That small smile the older would give was warm and full of care. Her eyes were like the color of ocean blue, a fitting color for Annie. She flows wherever she wanted, towards to what seemed fit, and took Mikasa along with her ocean waves. It as if they were going on an adventure together.

Now, it’s all over. The adventure they had finally stopped Mikasa now wash up on the shore while Annie waves head towards another direction. Somewhere that didn’t took her along.

This kiss they now share. It is passionate, agonizing, full of unsaid words, the taste of salt, and the last kiss they would ever share as lovers, and as friends. They both did not want to let go, but they must. Not after what just happen. What has been broken cannot be fixed to how it was before.

Annie reluctantly pulled away as she looked at Mikasa. She saw tears streaming down her eyes while she stared into those misty gray orbs. She wished they were able to depart another way, another way that didn’t lead to tears. Using the helm of her sleeves she wiped the tears off Mikasa’s cheeks and did not bothered with her own.

In the distance Reiner and Bertolt slowly approached them with Eren and Armin following behind. They were hesitant and scared to come too close to them because they knew they should never get between to two in a critical moment. And this is one of them. But time is coming to an end and Annie must depart soon with her fellow companions.

Reiner called out Annie’s name. Annie attention is brought by the call as she was able to reply, but, got cut off when Mikasa pulled her into a tight embrace. It is warm is all they could they both think of.

You’re making this harder for us. Annie mentally stated. She was the initiated the kiss so she wasn’t the one to talk, and merely returned the embrace. Finally, they pulled away and gave one last look at each other.

“Good bye.”

Then they departed without a last glimpse of each other.

On the day of graduation Annie, Reiner, and Baertolt didn’t show up. Apparently, the three have received their diploma the day before the ceremony. Where did the trio go? It is left a mystery.

A year has passed since graduation. A party was held for Ymir who was going to join the military. Everyone wasn’t really surprised since her parents did come from a military and navy background. Christa, however, had it the hardest. She didn’t want Ymir to join. She thought of all the negative outcomes of what might happen if she went to the military. She didn’t stop her however, she knew that once Ymir had made up her mind there’s no stopping her. Christa tried her strongest to see Ymir off with a smile than tears and frowns.

Later in the same year, it has been known that Annie, Reiner, and Baertolt also joined the military according to Ymir. She sent pictures of her with the trios to Christa phone as proof. Christa decided to show everyone the picture Ymir sent when they felt like hangout at her apartment. Everyone was literally surprise to see them.

Mikasa on the other hand didn’t feel shock, she felt something else. Something she thought she would never feel again unlike the day she broke up with Annie. It felt like a knife was stabbed into her heart when she saw Annie in the background. That same usual expression the blonde always had except she looks rather distance than normal. It seems as if the world is nothing more to her than her life being a waste of space.

She silently cursed at Annie. The brunette resists the urge to throw a random tantrum, and curl her hands into a fist. She had tried her hardest to forget about her. And when she had believed she managed to get over her, she sees her again? A low scoff escaped from her mouth as it was unheard over their loud voices. While everyone is busy throwing question Christa, Mikasa left the group to grab fresh air. She needed to cool her mind. She knew if she stays any longer she would have break right there.

When she had exited out of Christa’s apartment, a wave of cold air brushed against her face. The cool air brought her mind to ease. “It’s almost winter.” She muttered to herself and brought the scarf up to cover partial of her face from the cold. Her finger ran over another texture of her scarf.  They were stitches that were well handle in putting the fabric together despite it being a different material.

Then, she started to recall the time her scarf tear when it got caught on the branch. Annie wanted to buy Mikasa a new scarf, but the younger told her it is valuable to her. The blond didn’t pressure the girl anymore and decided to fix it for her instead.

Mikasa was actually surprise when Annie knew how to sow. She never would have thought Annie knew such skills. It seemed like a useless skill for her to even bother leaning.

Annie was utterly embarrassed and gave an excuse that her mother taught her when she was little. It was an adorable sight, and the brunette appreciated that Annie went her way to fix it for her. That was the time they had only dated for a week, and when decided she wanted to know more about Annie.

The memories started to bring her to tears. She fought the urge to hold back the tears. Stupid. Idiot. She didn’t know who she is saying them to, herself or at Annie. She didn’t know.

“Mikasa?”

A gentle and angelic voice called out Mikasa name.

Quickly, Mikasa wiped any straining tears off her cheek and gave a heavy sigh before replying. “What is it Christa?” She turned her head slightly, but didn’t show her face knowing they would give her away.

“Umm…” Christa hesitated for a moment as she had a worried expression on her face. She was unsure if she should try and comfort Mikasa but she thought better. “I’m sorry… M-maybe I shouldn’t have brought them up when she’s involved, after you know…”

Another heavy sigh escapes from Mikasa as she turned her back to where they were previously. She glances in the distance and stared at the cloudy sky that were slowly covering the blueness of the sky. “It’s fine.” She lied. “I know you don’t mean any harm.” There is truth to that. She knew Christa never had any intention to hurt anyone. “What are you doing here, anyways? Aren’t you supposed to be playing questions and answers?”

“Oh, umm, Ymir decided to give a call to talk to everyone. They are also chatting with the other three too.”

“I see.”

“I-if you like, you can talk with Annie, since she never had a phone and all.”

No. I can’t bear to hear her again. Never, we’re through.  Mikasa kept the thought to herself and bit her lower lips. Repetitively, she said to herself again that they were through. There was no longer anything for them to discuss. Despite her thoughts the other side of her wanted to speak with the older female again. But, she couldn’t deal with this pain in her heart. The thought of her is already enough to bring her to the verge of death. To hear her voice again, what should she say? Would she even be able to muster the courage to say something or would there be only dead silence between the two? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t want to know.

“No, it’s better if we don’t.” She finally retorted.

“But – “

“I don’t have to repeat myself.” She tried her best not to yell at Christa and her teeth then clench together. Her eyes started to sting again, tears dying to burst out. Not again. Why must it always keep happening? She closed her eyes and breathed in heavily before exhaling. “Look, can you tell Eren I’m going home first?” She didn’t allow Christa say anymore as she started to descend down the stairs.

Christa want to tell Mikasa to wait, but it was already too late. “But, the three are going to be drafted soon.” She whisper as she watch Mikasa walked farther away from the building.

About six years has passed after the breakup. And winter is coming to an end.

Ymir had already spent her four year servitude in the military as she came back and lived with Christa. On the other hand the trios are coming back in several hours. They had spent extra two years teaching and training the new comers before ending their servitude.

Everyone was excited to see the three again that they all decided to pick them up from the airport. Then, they would go to Sasha’s place that held a welcome home part prepared for their return. All is left is the guests.

Mikasa didn’t want to join the part and neither did she want to pick them up. She wasn’t fairly close to Reiner and Baertolt. Definitely she didn’t want to see Annie. She was the least person she wanted to see right now. However, Sasha managed to convince her along with the help of Eren.

Everyone: Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Sasha, Jean, Krista, Ymir, and Marco; stood at the exit, some try to jump on top of others trying to see if they could spot the trios.

“There they are!” Connie shouted and pointed at the direction he sees them.

“Hey!” Reiner said, casually raising his hand with a smile while his other hand carried his duffle bags. He approached the group with the other two behind.

“Hello there.” Baertolt greeted a little shyly as usual with his head somewhat bowing to greet his friends.

Annie on the other hand just gave them a nod as her greeting, but her eyes were casted elsewhere than the group. Her hands hidden inside of her sweater pockets as she carries only a sport backpack.

“Alright, the gangs are here! So let’s go ~ !” Sasha announces excitedly and led the way to where everyone parks their car.

“Question,” Connie stated with his hand raised as he sounded a little nervous. “There are only two cars and twelve of us. How are we all going to fit?”

Everyone immediately froze in their track as no one exactly thought it through.

Ymir was the first one to burst into laughter. “You guys seriously didn’t think this through?” She continues laughing and held her stomach.

“This is your fault Jean if you decided to stop being a lazy butt and actually brought your car we wouldn’t be in this mess!” Connie exclaimed and shift the blame to Jean.

“W-wha!!?” Jean growled with his eyes narrowed and glared at Connie. “My fault? How the hell could it be my fault! You’re the one who said two would be fine.”

The fight continued for about an hour as the conclusion finally came with all the girls riding in Ymir’s car. All the boys rode with Connie with the exception of Marco and Jean.

The two decided to take a taxi and be the one responsible taking care of Reiner’s and Baertolt’s luggage. They really did not want to packed and jammed in one tiny car especially when Reiner and Baertolt were built big. There is no way they will be able to fit or without being up close and personal with each other.

In Connie’s car everyone was chatting amongst each other, catching up with Reiner and Baertolt. While In Ymir’s car it was completely silently. There’s tension flying around in the car that made Christa and Sasha worry in their seat. Especially Sasha, she sat in the middle of the two who are causing the heavy atmosphere, Annie on her right and Mikasa on her left. Both of them are staring out the window, minding their own business, but despite them looking at opposite direct Sasha could feel them sending death signal. Sasha cowards in her seat, not wanting to be part of this, she then tries to send her own signals to Ymir to break the tension.

Ymir felt Sasha stare and gave a smirk before opening her mouth, “Say, Annie. How’s that wound coming along?”

Wound? It caught everyone’s attention, especially Mikasa who shifted in her seat that went unnoticed.

Annie shrugs her shoulders as if it was nothing new to her. “Still hurts. Accidently reopen it when I was sparring with the trainees before hopping on the plane.” She nonchalantly states. It certainly doesn’t sound reassuring to the others. Sasha and Christa stared at Annie worryingly, while Mikasa tried her hardest not to be like the two. Annie catches them staring and looks at them with a brow raised, “What?”

“Nothing,” Sasha retorted and shook her head. “You didn’t seem to be injured.” Her voice slowly turns into a whisper.

Ymir gave a light laugh and took a quick glance over Annie before back to the road. “You know her. She is the girl that knows how to hide,” A cold glare is given to the driver from the blonde in the back, “her emotions.” Ymir added at the end, giving a playful smirk wondering if Annie was pleased with it.

The blond merely shrug and resume back to staring at the window.

Then there is silence once more. The heavy tension quickly vanishes, but now it became awkward.

Annie then decided to break the silence again, “You still have those medications, Ymir? I ran out a while back and Doc didn’t want to give me any more.”

“That’s because you keep on fucking overdosing. You need to stop, y’know.” Ymir scrunched up her nose in a displeased manner. Everyone was somewhat surprise about Ymir actually caring for someone else other than herself or Christa.

Annie simply shrugs her shoulders again, keeping her eyes concentrated outside of the window, watching the building passing by her vision. “That’s because they’re weak.”

A snort came out from Ymir who sounded very worry, but also angry. “Well, you would have been better long ago if you stop it with the overdose.”

Annie didn’t say anymore.

Short and straight to the point as usual. Ymir commented to herself with a shrug.

“But, yes, I still have them. Doc is planning to send more to my place soon in case any four of us still needs them.” A brief pause as if she was thinking. “Wait no, to make sure you don’t start overdosing yourself again.” Immediately a haughty like huff came from Annie as Ymir ignored it. “Why? Are you still getting them?” Ymir simply asked and looked in the head mirror to see Annie giving a small nod.

Sasha, Christa, and finally Mikasa looked between Ymir and Annie in confusion. The two talked as if they were in their own little world and everyone else in the car was completely forgotten.

Christa is the first to speak up as she hesitated for a moment, “Ymir… Are you talking about that incident?”

There was a brief pause before she gave a hesitated nod.

“H-hey, what happen?” Sasha questioned, completely confused what is going on now. “Did something happen at the military?”

“It’s none of your business.” Menace in Annie's voice that made Sasha coward and press herself into Mikasa. 

Mikasa pay no mind to Sasha. Silently she glanced over at Annie at the corner of her curious eyes. _What happen?_ She bit her lower lips, but quickly shook the curiosity away as it is not for her to know. With a exhale of breath, she resumes looking out the window. Throughout the whole trip to Sasha’s place the girls were utterly quiet again. There were no tension this time, but curiosity and unfilled questions.


End file.
